Back in the day, older brothers, dads, mentors, and coaches helped adolescent boys master their natural aggression and sexually predatory nature. Redirecting all that sexual energy in other things like sports and manual labor (anything positive, creative and productive) took both effort and compassion. It was an unappreciated skill men handed down from generation to generation -- one which all of society benefited from, but few people ever acknowledged.
That's no longer the norm, in parenting or masculine culture, and that has led to the formation of a perfect storm for sexual assaults.
It starts with exposure to pornography - research shows by age 8 almost all boys are exposed to some form of it. Because of the intense wash of dopamine produced by pornographic images, it creates an instant and permanent neural network in their brain. It can (and will) be routinely fired up, triggering an automatic (pleasurable) physiological response. This pleasure response conditions the brain to WANT to fire it up, and leads to an increasing desire for more porn, more variety and more sexual stimulation.
As early as 5th grade but not usually later than 7th, boys also are presented with explicit sex education promoting a wide variety of ways to engage in sexual behavior "without risk." Next their culture mixes in a lot of media and social messaging about same-sex attraction, emphasizing it has the added benefit of not producing babies so its considered "safe." And then their sexual curiosity is supercharged with instant access to apps whose express purpose is to find and connect people who want to engage in anonymous casual sex. The perfect way to produce boys with no impulse control in a culture actively serving up new ways to exploit it!
The female element of this equation is basic ignorance of biology. Since the 1960s young women have not been given a correct perspective of male sexuality. You can test it yourself, just initiate a dialogue with any Gen X, Millennial or Gen Z female about how often males have involuntary sexual thoughts and you'll discover they have no clue what goes on in the male brain.
This is how we get a testosterone-fueled male into a girls' bathroom in a skirt in the Loudon County School District in Virginia. A 15 year old, gender-fluid, anatomically-male student was given access to the girls' restroom. In June, he was arrested for sodomizing and sexually assaulting a female student in the girl's restroom. After he was released, the student was fitted with an ankle monitor and transferred to a different school in the district, where he sodomized a second female in the girls bathroom. The girl's parents were understandably enraged.
This is the predictable result of gender-fluid policies. The biological reality of males bodies flooding with testosterone, creating almost uncontrollable urges doesn't disappear because of a new pronoun or change of clothing.
Schools are legally prevented from alerting parents when there are students of the opposite sex using common areas, because it would violate the non-conforming student's privacy. So what can parents do, when school boards are more interested in appearing empathetic than protecting the vulnerable?
Absolutely attend your school board meetings and make your voice heard. It is the absence of objection that empowers these policies.
Remember public school funding is dependent on the number of students who attend. Look into charter schools, or homeschooling, or forming a school pod and pooling resources to hire retired or disillusioned teachers. There are a smorgasbord of educational options!
If you don't know the myriad of differences in male and female sexuality, get up to speed. While male sexuality can be scary and alarming, properly harnessed, it is the driving force behind athletic prowess, and many creative pursuits.
View gender-dysphoria as similar to anorexia or bulimia: it's a distorted self-image contradicted by reality. It has many causes, takes emotional prisoners and should evoke both patience and empathy.
If none of these address your immediate concern or situation, a parent can demand the bodily privacy of their child be protected. You can request your school make special accommodation for your child's bodily privacy, such as access to an individual lavatory or private changing area. If enough parents insist on these accommodations, schools will have to come up with alternative solutions.
A WORD OF CAUTION: If you decide to go that route, this is not an easy fix. You will have to balance it. Your child may gain privacy protection, but it also increases the chance they will be bullied or ridiculed. Please don't take this step without heart-to-heart conversations with your adolescent. Identify several ways to handle confrontation with adults or peers and give them the tools to resolve it, without having to relay on mom racing in to rescue them. That is social suicide.
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